I found on wikipedia this after I got worried about myself:
OCD:
Often the process is entirely illogical; for example, the compulsion of walking in a certain pattern may be employed to alleviate the obsession of impending harm. And in many cases, the compulsion is entirely inexplicable, simply an urge to complete a ritual triggered by nervousness.
^ this is completely true to me; if the volume is at an even number in the car cd player then I feel alot safer; if it is at an odd number then I get an extremely strong feeling that something bad will happen.
And i base many of my choices around whether I see certain colours of cars in certain places and when I had my first hamster, I knew i was horrible but I couldn’t help put him on the banister. I knew I had to stop and I tried but I couldn’t.
Agoraphobia:
A common manifestation involves needing to be in constant view of a door or other escape route.
^this is also true to me; if I come in a room I won’t sit closest to the door; I will sit where i can see the door best and where there are the least blockades.
Childhood anxiety disorders:
However, if anxiety is no longer temporary and begins to interfere with the child’s normal functioning or do harm to their learning,
^since I have become more anxious, I have started failing subjects at school.
They not only experience fear, nervousness, and shyness but also start avoiding places and activities.
^this is also true as for no reason at all, I get strong feelings not to go to friends houses, it doesn’t matter if it is a big group of people or one person; I get a really irrational strong urge to stay at home.
Some other symptoms are frequent self-doubt and self-criticism comments, irritability, sleep problems, and in extreme cases, thoughts of not wanting to be alive.
^all this is true. I am almost unable to accept compliments from my friends or boyfriend because I have convinced myself I am a horrible, ugly, fat, mean and stupid person.
I don’t want it to seem like i want to have an anxiety disorder, but do you think I could have??
I really hope you can answer my question and I’m not comfortable talking to my parents, teachers or relatives about this.
Thanks.
The symptoms you describe all point to a lack of self esteem which in turn leads to anxiety about going to friends houses, large groups of people, shyness and nervousness. Many teenagers feel this way which is not surprising given the hormonal changes going on combined with the new and daunting experiences of the world opening up in front of you.
As you find your way in the world you will find ways of coping with all these strange new emotions but it is important that you keep a sense of proportion and not allow them to dominate your life or be afraid of them.
They will no doubt pass in the fullness of time but if you find yourself unable to cope then refer to a doctor and take it from there.
Good luck —the world is far friendlier when you give it a smile now and then.
I believe that if you think you’re heading down the path of an anxiety disorder, you should definitely see a professional. I would start with a school counselor. They will keep whatever you talk about confidential unless it’s threatening to yourself or someone else, or something illegal. If they think that you do have anything, they can help you speak with your parents to see someone more specialized.
Personally, I don’t think of myself as having any anxiety disorders or anything of the like. I do however avoid walking on straight lines or in the path of arrows. For example, if there’s a tile floor, I’ll walk on the section that is a solid color. I think that most people have some mild form of OCD and anxiety, it just becomes a problem when it interferes with your day to day life.